Full living is never a "have to"
It's easy during the winter months, when days are short and tempers are even shorter,
to feel like we're settling into “survival” mode. We dig in, head down, hoping to
make it through until spring. We struggle through the holidays, buying the obligatory
gifts, sending cards and attending parties with people we hardly see the rest of
the year.
In the movie, Parenthood, Steve Martin's character struggles with the consuming
feeling that his daily routines and commitments are taking over his whole life.
One of his many responsibilities is to be the coach of his son's little league team.
His shoulders slump and he sighs as he laments the fact that “ten little boys are
waiting for me to guide them into last place.”
When his wife asks him if he has to go, his face darkens.
“My whole life is ‘have to,'” he grumbles.
It's easy to feel as if we've lost control, with all of the demands piling up until
we're practically buried beneath them. Sometimes our inability to say “no” often
enough gets us into trouble. In other situations, something as potentially joyful
as coaching our child's little league team gets distilled down to no more than yet
another “have to.”
There's very little we absolutely have to do. We have to breathe, sleep and eat,
but most of the rest of what we do is a choice. Recognizing the small rewards of
life as the fruits of our choices rather than a never-ending list of “have to's”
is, once again, a matter of choice.
We can search desperately for the emergency exit from our own lives, or we can claim
every day as another choice to live fully and richly. It's up to us.